IMPOSTER SYNDROME AS A BOUDOIR PHOTOGRAPHER
Some days I wake up and ask myself… “Am I a fraud?”
You see, there’s this unspoken vulnerability I think all artists secretly have. I mean… We put ourselves out there on a daily basis, we wear our hearts on our sleeves, and strive to create something that the world will find meaningful. What’s it all for? If you ask me, it’s our own way of feeling seen. So what’s the point I am trying to elaborate here?
”Fragility, vulnerability, fear.”
These are all descriptive words that can be found at the forefront of creativity. I believe artists feel these feelings so often that it creates a feeling of insecurity. I can’t speak for everyone, but I know when I hear phrases like. “I love these images, can’t wait to see the rest.” or “We love your work, but we are considering other options and will get back to you.” It makes me uneasy… My heart drops to the floor.
I know it’s not personal, but it’s hard to not take it personally. When you look at my work, my art, you are gazing at small pieces of my soul. I think so many artists probably feel this way as well. When I put myself out there every day, sometimes I start to feel like what I put into the world is meaningless.
On the other hand, there are days when I feel like this is my purpose, like creating art through photography is what I was created for. I love the feeling, I love it when people love the work I create for them and see what I see. Yet, sometimes that rollercoaster is a lot to deal with.
So is there a point to all of this? Maybe, maybe not… I just wanted to open a discussion about what I feel every day. Don’t be afraid to face those feelings of self-doubt and fear. There will always be a time when you are above it all, and there will be those times when you fall. Get back up and realize that you’ve come further than you ever thought you could.
Art isn’t about being perfect or being the best, but it’s about how you see the world and what you create with your medium. I hope this can inspire you to create or be vulnerable. Embrace that fear and strive to do something that makes you push beyond what you thought was possible.
